


The Make of a Man

by gala_apples



Series: The Clothes They Wear [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crossdressing, Genderqueer, Makeup, Other, Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 06:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes they are themselves-not-themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Make of a Man

Sometimes they’re others for each other.

Sometimes Gerard will shower. He’ll comb his hair like he gives a damn about how he looks. He’ll avoid the parties all the other buses are having, ignore when Ray texts him to _get his ass over to this bonfire, no i can’t tell you what direction it is, but you should be able to see the fire, text me if you can’t find it and i’ll get someone to pour gas on it so it’ll flame up_ , ignores when Frank jumps on his back and demands a horsie ride to Jepha. Gerard will stay sober and pretend he’s not the wreck he is. For Mikey.

Sometimes Mikey will part his hair differently. He’ll get it wet and let it dry how it wants to, rather then spend an hour flattening it with a combination of hot metal and chemical spray. He’ll let his glasses sit on the bridge of his nose instead of the tip, and he’ll find a shirt that isn’t a vintage band shirt that even the roadies seem impressed with. Mikey will start conversations, and he will smile. For Gerard.

But Mikey doesn’t do expressive well, and Gerard doesn’t do self-worth well. And it’s not what they really want from each other. It’s what might better the band. Or it’s what they could want for themselves. It’s like a Star Trek movie, who they could be if it was a better world instead of a evil goatee world. They can do it to prove to the other that they can, but it could never stick.

Most of the time they’re others, they’re what Mikey knows Gerard would refer to as genderfucking, except they don’t actually talk about it. Mikey knows that if the word were said out loud it would change things. Gerard would get on a righteous kick for it, like how he mutters about heterosexuals owning the world, and how one day they need to do a queers only tour. Mikey’s not necessarily against using their music as a tool, he just doesn’t want to witness how a public stance would change everything privately.

It’s always the same persona. It’s never anything as cliche as Geraldine and Michelle. They don’t have names for each other. When it happens he doesn’t think of Gerard as Geraldine, but he doesn’t think of him as Gerard either. When it happens they’re both just perfect neutrals.

Makeup is a normal thing when you’re on stage. Gerard knew it as far back as the first time he was Peter Pan. The rest of the band learned it soon after their first show. Stage makeup, photo shoot makeup, interview makeup, they’re all far different from what this is. After years of getting ready to be watched by others, Mikey knows when to wear what. And when not-him is with not-Gerard, he still knows how to wear it. 

It’s not to accentuate his features or any shit like that. No matter what combination of MAC and Maybelline, he’s never going to get his face to look like a girl’s. So instead he wears it because of how it feels. He likes that mascara is sticky. Every time he blinks his eyelashes want to stay together. Eyes half closed it make it easier to reevaluate the world. He likes the way it feels when he cakes on five or six shades of the same color onto his eyes. It’s on so heavy it feels like each time he moves his face a blue and navy snowstorm flutters from his eyelids. He likes lip gloss the best. It always smells nice, something sweet and edible. Aftershave never smells like cherries or cotton candy.

Gerard is different. Without having to ask, Mikey knows he likes it because of how it makes him feel. A mask of nearly white concealer makes him pale and brave, bright eyeshadow makes him bold. Red lipstick makes him wanted.

They don’t dress to pass in public. It’s possible they could, with padding in the proper areas. If they were able to go to a shopping mall, they might be just another anonymous set of friends. But that’s not the environment they have. They have Warped, and Quinn Allman will sure as shit notice if two women are wandering around the buses.

Instead they’ll both put on a dress, red and white and black. The aesthetic doesn’t really change, even when the articles do. The bus will be empty, they’ve all got deals about requesting and getting privacy at certain times. They use stolen electrical tape to cover the windows with blankets and dress for each other. Mikey’s got a lockable suitcase, he keeps the key in the tank of the toilet. Not that anyone’s tried to bust into it, as far as he knows. It’s just not worth the risk to keep it on his person. He can see some asshole patting him down when he’s drunk, finding a key, and trying to open various shit with it until something finally does.

Once dressed, hands will drift under hems and cling to folds and straps. The dresses are wrinkled from being constantly crammed into suitcases. They smell from the inability to wash them on more than freak occurrences when there's time for one of them to distract the band while the other runs to a laundromat. It would be nice to smell pretty when they do this, but they don’t need it. Not-Mikey will push not-Gerard to the bed and the fabric will crush even more underneath them. They will writhe and hips will thrust until the dresses are stained dark with sweat and semen.

They don’t kiss normally when they’re made up. If they had normal kisses their mouths would touch and the saliva would wear off the shine of their lips. So instead it’s the temple. Mikey tastes concealer, Gerard can taste hairspray. Both like it, don’t want anything else, wouldn’t want lips at moments like these. Lips would ruin the look.

Afterward, they will wipe their dresses as best they can, with bottled water and stolen yellow McDonalds napkins. They’ll fold them and put them away, and change back into hoodies and torn jeans and band shirts. Gerard will ask Mikey if he’s okay, because that’s what he has to do. Mikey won’t answer, but he’ll throw his arm around Gerard’s shoulder, because that’s how things work.

It doesn’t really matter who they pretend to be, they’ll never lose track of who the other is.


End file.
